Woah!
by mr-ariesss
Summary: Allen stared."...Well that was disturbing." "Disturbing? It scared the Finders! It gave them seizures! It's Yuu Kanda in a skirt, man! A skirt! It's not disturbing, it's hilarious!" "You need to get your other eye gouged out, Lavi."


Woah.

So I was rereading my previous immature stories and I went all, "Holy _shit_, I wrote that crap?" Thus this rewrite. And while I'm at it, I might as well add another chappie...

Dude, I was thinking of what to write last night and I ended up with nothing but the word 'woah' repeating over and over again in my mind... So, whatever. :D

Disclaimer: Ah, yeah, _NO._

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* * *

_ONE

* * *

Lavi just stared. Why, you ask? Because this shit was a whole new record.

"Uh... Allen?" He asked, horrified.

Allen swallowed. "Yes, Lavi?" He asked, as he took a sip of tea.

"Are you sure that's normal?"

"Yes." The white haired boy confirmed calmly.

Lavi slammed his right fist on the table. "Dude, that's, like, your _millionth _dango! That's not fucking normal!" He pointed a shaking finger at Allen, who was sitting in front of him, eating.

"You're exaggerating too much, Lavi!" Allen scolded lightly.

"Yeah, he's right, Lavi. You're exaggerating too much. That was only his _nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-ninth _dango. Stop exaggerating." Allen placed another dango in his mouth. "Oh, wait, that was his millionth dango. You're not exaggerating anymore, Red."

Lavi held up a thumb in reply. "Awesomeness!" He grinned.

Allen sniffed in offense and Lenalee giggled. "C'mon, Allen, you know we're only joking!" She patted him on the head.

The white-haired boy huffed.

Lenalee rolled her eyes. "Oh, c'mon, Allen, forgiveness?"

Allen smiled. "Okay. And besides, that was only my twenty ninth dango." The girl laughed, running a hand through her hair.

Suddenly the lights went out.

The three of them jumped in alert. They prepared to activate their Innocence.

Scuttling sounds were heard and just when they were about to attack, the lights were back on.

"Uh, what the fuck just happened?" Lavi asked, confused.

Before any of the two could answer, screams from finders interrupted them. They looked over to where the noise came from and the sight that greeted them were finders who were pointing up to the ceiling.

"Holy..." For the second time that day, Lavi stared.

Yuu Kanda.

The Asian man jumped down from the ceiling and landed on one of the cafeteria tables.

No shit, this should be considered as normal, but with what Kanda was wearing? Haha, _no_.

A skirt? Seriously, Lord? Yuu Kanda, the man who conquered death? The man who will kill without hesitation? The man who pummels everyone within an inch of their fucking life just because they said hello to him? No shit? A frilly pink skirt? A frilly pink skirt that will make you renounce your faith?

Rainbow dyed hair? Hell, people believed that hair dyes like those were impossible. But Kanda wearing a frilly pink _skirt_ is also impossible and it still_ happened._ Seriously, Kanda's hair had been dyed the wonderful color of_ 'haha-I-fucked-up-your-eyes-rainbow'. _

A green sando? Well, no shit, even_ Lavi_ isn't _that_ color-blind. God damn it, there was even a great big "YUU" printed on the front of it.

Violet stockings that will make you shit bricks? Multiple bangles? _Sparkly 'I'm-on-your-face make up_?

And a retarded face that simply screamed out _'LOL-seriously-wut?-Dude-the-pony-isn't-white!-What-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you?-The-pony-is-pink,-duh!-By-the-way,-I-didn't-know-that-I-looked-like-a-retarded-idiot-K?-Thx-Bai'_.

Woah.

Woah.

_Woah_.

That fucked them up psychologically.

Was it just Lavi or were the finders _really_ having seizures?

Was it just the One-eyed Wonder or was Allen _really_ half dying from laughter and half dying from horror?

Was it just the redhead or was Bookman_ really _scared shitless?

Was it just the green-eyed boy or was Lenalee _really _banging her head on the table?

Was it just Lavi or was Krory _really_ making out with Miranda?

Nope. It wasn't just him... Okay, the 'Krory lip-raping Miranda' was a fucking lie, but the rest?

Woah.

Lavi coughed on his fist. "Uh... Allen?" He asked, horrified.

Allen swallowed. "Yes, Lavi?" The white-haired boy had already recovered, though on his face, a look of '_what the bloody hell?'_ was still planted.

"Are you sure that's normal?"

The white-haired boy stared at Lavi for a while before answering. "Fuck no." He stomped off the cafeteria.

As soon as Allen was out of sight, one would hear the white-haired boy bursting into a very very very _very _loud fit of laughter.

Once again, _woah._ Lavi was dumbfounded. "Did...D-did... Did he just fucking curse?"

Kanda's giggles were still heard. What the hell? It's been two minutes since he started giggling! Why won't he run out of breath, the douche.

This needs to be investigated.

Somebody call Sherlock Fucking Holmes...

* * *

...Or not.

Three hours later, the walls of Komui's office found the three exorcists sitting on the only paper-free space in the room- the couch. Well, of course, it was flooded in paper before they came, but, hey, at least it's paper-free now.

"So..." Komui said, breaking the awkward silence. He coughed to his fist. "That's what happened?"

Lavi sighed. "For the last fucking time,_ yes._ Now, tell us what might cause this. Well, no shit, this is really awesome and all that crap but, really, Komui? People having seizures? People almost dying from laughter? Dude, at this rate, we won't have any finders anymore!"

"You're making it sound like as though it was my fault!" Komui whined.

Lavi blinked. "Wait, _what_? This isn't one of your potions or some random shit that you created?"

"Nope." He said, popping the 'p' at the end.

"Woah." The redhead paused for a while. "I don't believe it."

Komui rolled his eyes. "If something's my fault, I solve it."

Lavi snorted. "Ch'yeah right." He said. "Whatever. Anyways, the question here is how the hell do we bring Kanda back to normal?" Lavi paused again. "After I take some pictures, of course."

The bespectacled man waved a hand dismissively. "We'll make sure to conduct a research. Feel free to leave now, because I'm gonna finish these papers..." he gestured to the piles of papers... around him.

The three left, Lenalee gently closing the door behind her.

"...Or not."

* * *

During situations like these, Kanda did the most common thing- curse.

"Fuck."

Again.

"Fuck."

Once more.

"_Fuck!_"

But even when he was done abusing his most favorite word in his entire epic vocabulary, his situation did not change.

He was still in a room where he could not see any damn thing.

Oh, and by the way, he was tied to a fucking chair.

"God damn it! I _must've_ fucked up." He struggled on the chair.

The death-trap tilted to his right...

Kanda's eyes widened. '_Shi-_'

...And it fell, Kanda still tied to it.

"Okay, I take it back." He grumbled. "I _did_ fuck up."

And he went back to cursing.

"_Fuuuckkkk!"_

_

* * *

_Woah.

That was it.

Whatever... Anyways, please tell me what you think about the story!

This is dedicated to those who have reviewed on "The Apocalypse".

I know I kept you people waiting, so... here! :D

LOL, I really do cuss a lot XD Reason? Well... Look at it this way, I'm a girl who has a lot of shit being shoved unto her and I'm not very... patient XD

Peace out!


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